ProtusMose.com

Still hate my job.

Also, Ron Paul. Seriously, people. Mom, Dad, Leigh Ann, Justin, random surfer, everyone, check him out. His foreign policy is what we need to keep us safe (and in compliance with the Constitution, I might add). His domestic policy is what we need to keep our personal freedoms. His economic policies will control spending, reduce the deficit, balance the budget, and eliminate the income tax.

Don’t take my word for it, do the research for yourself.

http://www.ronpaullibrary.org/

About the Ron Paul Library

This library is a collection of over 900 articles and speeches written by Congressman Ron Paul. To understand his ideas, just review what he has written over the past 10 years. The library is provided as a resource for those wishing to gain a greater understanding of Ron Paul’s Freedom Principles:

* Rights belong to individuals, not groups.
* Property should be owned by people, not government.
* All voluntary associations should be permissible — economic and social.
* The government’s monetary role is to maintain the integrity of the monetary unit, not participate in fraud.
* Government exists to protect liberty, not to redistribute wealth or to grant special privileges.
* The lives and actions of people are their own responsibility, not the government’s.

Recommended viewing

Settle down folks. I have no idea what this entry will be about; but, I have a feeling it will be long-winded.

I’m going to go away and have a cup of coffee so I can contemplate this entry.

Okay, so, let’s start of with work. To quote a cow in an obscure Far Side cartoon, “Wendell, I’m not content.” The job is great. It’s an awesome position for the right person. ::interjection:: Something crappy just happened, more on that later ::/interjection:: I have a great job. It’s just not me.

My job right now involves a lot of coddling hyper pushy, type A, aggressive salespeople. My natural personality is laid back, calm (by default), and courteous; the type of people that hyper-pushy, type A, aggressive salespeople tend to push over and pummel. Theoretically, they should love pushing me around. Here’s the problem: I spent all my childhood and teenage years getting pushed around, mocked, ridiculed, second-guessed, etc, etc, etc. At some point in the past (I wish I could remember exactly when) I decided I wasn’t going to take it anymore. I’m a (somewhat) successful adult with a beautiful wife, 1.77 wonderful children, and nice house. I’m an adult. I’ve paid my dues, and I refuse to be blatantly disrespected by someone who is supposedly my colleague. Can you smell the conflict? Don’t get me wrong, a lot of the people I work with a great guys. There are some, however, that tend to behave in a way that doesn’t mesh with how I operate. I enjoy my job to a degree; but, there are times during the day (usually each day) that I get the feeling that this just isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing.

Enter internal conflict. Is it me? Is my indignation justified, or am I allowing pride to affect my judgment? Was this job intended for me as a temporary position and a stepping stone to greater things, or has God intended me to stay here a while and learn something here before moving on?

Enter professional conflict. If I move on now, will it be viewed as bailing on a position I “couldn’t handle”, or simply moving on as people tend to do after a time. I don’t want to be seen as the guy who couldn’t hack it. I’m good at what I do. I just don’t get any satisfaction out of catering to, in my mind, unreasonable people making unreasonable requests with a sense of entitlement that I’m to do whatever they ask without question.

Now, to get back to the side note earlier about something crappy occurring. I had applied for a great job in another department. It suits me and I believe I suit it quite well, also. I get a call the day after I apply, asking if I have a certain license. I let them know that I don’t, but that I’m happy to get it. It’s usual protocol. The job listings usually say something like, “Must have license X or ability to obtain within X months.” Apparently there’s no “ability to obtain” in this case. I’ve asked repeatedly to get this license; but, they won’t let me have it unless I have a job that needs it. I can’t get a job that needs it unless I have it. I can’t have it unless I have a job that needs it. Infuriating? Darn tootin.

Okay, enough work. What else can I talk about? Let’s take it upstairs, if you catch my drift. My family go to a really awesome church. The people are great, the atmosphere is awesome, and Pastor Jay is great. The question, then, is why do I feel so disconnected? I don’t have any real friends there (or elsewhere for that matter [which is a gripe for another time {holy uber-subphrases, Batman!}]). I have friendly acquaintances, but no one I would call up and say, “Hey, you wanna hang out?” The people are nice, but there’s no one my wife or I really click with. It feels, at least to me, like everyone’s happy to have us there, but that no one would necessarily care if we just stopped showing up. I’m sure that’s not the case; but, that’s how it feels. Then, there’s issues with worship, but that also is a story for another day.

Just to lighten the tone of this post, here’s a rather lousy picture of Nathan Explosion riding a Triceratops.

That’s all I got.

Sometimes, five minutes can rock you to the core. Yesterday, I had an appointment with my neurologist/epileptologist about all of the problems I’ve been having with my head. I’ve got permanent post-concussive disorder, which causes random periods of dizziness, disorientation, “buzzing”, and other feelings that aren’t pleasant. I also get (when not on medicine) complex partial seizures. As far as I know, I’ve never had a full-blown tonic clonic / grand mal. At my appointment yesterday, they said they can’t determine what’s seizure related and what’s not, so they can’t treat it. They want to stick me in a hotel for five consecutive days, hooked up to an EEG 24 hours a day to see what happens. It’s extremely expensive ($20,000 and sounds extremely boring. Due to the financial aspect, we were looking at maybe doing it a few years from now, even though things have been getting pretty bad lately. Then again, sometimes, five minutes can rock you to the core. About a half an hour ago, a girl standing not 9 feet from me seized out. Full-on drop grand mal. Lasted a good five minutes. They just took her out to an ambulance about five minutes ago. Right now, I’m seriously freaked out. Is that what’s coming if I don’t get this taken care of? I can’t stop shaking (my hands/etc from the nerves, not an attack). I’ll be scheduling the monitoring appointment. And quickly.

There. There’s your update.

God help me.

Life in Nebraska without air conditioning is miserable. When we moved into this house in May, we knew the A/C was old, but thought we would get a few more years out of it. It’s died twice so far. Each time, is over the weekend. By the time the evening is turning to night, it’s 80 degrees inside and 60 outside. Sleeping is “difficult”. Each time it dies and we have to have someone come out to fix it, I hope they’ll tell me it’s inoperable. We’d get a new one under the warranty, at least. Oh well.

And in more crummy news, MY POOR POOL! We weren’t able to get in for five days last week. I took the cover off Friday and the whole bottom is covered in algae. I spent all weekend shocking, chlorinating, and vacuuming the algae off the bottom. When it comes up, it’s too small to get captured by the bag, so it then disperses into the water and I have to cross my fingers it gets caught in the filter. Yesterday definitely looked better than Saturday. Hopefully, it looks decent tonight.

I had to create a new category for this one: whining.

Things just kind of suck right now.Not as bad as before, but enough to ruin the heck out of a Friday.

Came home Wednesday to a house that was 87 degrees on the inside. Yep, our air conditioner is dying. After getting two irate phone calls from a hot pregnant woman, the home warranty people finally authorized an after hours call. The technician who looked at it pronounced the inside unit in serious condition and administered last rites to the outside unit. Keep in mind, we’ve lived there two months. A new AC’s going to run $2,000. We don’t have $200, let alone $2,000. We’re trying to work with the warranty company to get it through their heads that it broke after we bought it and they should cover it, but I’m not holding my breath.

The weight loss campaign is going nowhere. I’m going to be fat forever. I have no energy to exercise. I’m eating okay but not losing anything at all. I’m not sleeping well. I’m starting to have “head problems” again, but I’m afraid to tell my wife. She has enough things to worry about.

Recording is going rough. I’m making progress, but it’s still lousy. Maybe I’m just a crappy musician.

I hate pushy type A salespeople. Especially if they sound like food.

I’d say my prayers are bouncing off the ceiling, if I was praying.

I’m about 14 colors of messed up right now.

I better get my crap together, though.

After all, I’ve got a new air conditioner to buy.