ProtusMose.com

A slick and polished mess.


follow protusmose at http://twitter.com

Oct

19

It’s a doozy….

Posted by: mose

Posted in: Higher callings, Life, Rantings, Whining

Settle down folks. I have no idea what this entry will be about; but, I have a feeling it will be long-winded.

I’m going to go away and have a cup of coffee so I can contemplate this entry.

Coffee

Okay, so, let’s start of with work. To quote a cow in an obscure Far Side cartoon, “Wendell, I’m not content.” The job is great. It’s an awesome position for the right person. ::interjection:: Something crappy just happened, more on that later ::/interjection:: I have a great job. It’s just not me.

My job right now involves a lot of coddling hyper pushy, type A, aggressive salespeople. My natural personality is laid back, calm (by default), and courteous; the type of people that hyper-pushy, type A, aggressive salespeople tend to push over and pummel. Theoretically, they should love pushing me around. Here’s the problem: I spent all my childhood and teenage years getting pushed around, mocked, ridiculed, second-guessed, etc, etc, etc. At some point in the past (I wish I could remember exactly when) I decided I wasn’t going to take it anymore. I’m a (somewhat) successful adult with a beautiful wife, 1.77 wonderful children, and nice house. I’m an adult. I’ve paid my dues, and I refuse to be blatantly disrespected by someone who is supposedly my colleague. Can you smell the conflict? Don’t get me wrong, a lot of the people I work with a great guys. There are some, however, that tend to behave in a way that doesn’t mesh with how I operate. I enjoy my job to a degree; but, there are times during the day (usually each day) that I get the feeling that this just isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing.

Enter internal conflict. Is it me? Is my indignation justified, or am I allowing pride to affect my judgment? Was this job intended for me as a temporary position and a stepping stone to greater things, or has God intended me to stay here a while and learn something here before moving on?

Enter professional conflict. If I move on now, will it be viewed as bailing on a position I “couldn’t handle”, or simply moving on as people tend to do after a time. I don’t want to be seen as the guy who couldn’t hack it. I’m good at what I do. I just don’t get any satisfaction out of catering to, in my mind, unreasonable people making unreasonable requests with a sense of entitlement that I’m to do whatever they ask without question.

Now, to get back to the side note earlier about something crappy occurring. I had applied for a great job in another department. It suits me and I believe I suit it quite well, also. I get a call the day after I apply, asking if I have a certain license. I let them know that I don’t, but that I’m happy to get it. It’s usual protocol. The job listings usually say something like, “Must have license X or ability to obtain within X months.” Apparently there’s no “ability to obtain” in this case. I’ve asked repeatedly to get this license; but, they won’t let me have it unless I have a job that needs it. I can’t get a job that needs it unless I have it. I can’t have it unless I have a job that needs it. Infuriating? Darn tootin.

Okay, enough work. What else can I talk about? Let’s take it upstairs, if you catch my drift. My family go to a really awesome church. The people are great, the atmosphere is awesome, and Pastor Jay is great. The question, then, is why do I feel so disconnected? I don’t have any real friends there (or elsewhere for that matter [which is a gripe for another time {holy uber-subphrases, Batman!}]). I have friendly acquaintances, but no one I would call up and say, “Hey, you wanna hang out?” The people are nice, but there’s no one my wife or I really click with. It feels, at least to me, like everyone’s happy to have us there, but that no one would necessarily care if we just stopped showing up. I’m sure that’s not the case; but, that’s how it feels. Then, there’s issues with worship, but that also is a story for another day.

Just to lighten the tone of this post, here’s a rather lousyDethsaurus picture of Nathan Explosion riding a Triceratops.

That’s all I got.

One Comment to “It’s a doozy….”

  1. Leigh Ann Says:

    Well said. I understand your frustrastions babe. We’re in this together. I am proud of the man you have become, you make me proud to be your wife. You are successful in my eyes. Don’t let the hyper-pushy Type A people in the workplace make you feel like you are less than they are. After all, you still have to deal with your Type A wife! 🙂

Leave your comment