In fact, it’s a rather bad day. Horrible would probably come close. Why horrible? Oh, let me count the ways.
I have a cold. Colds are horrible. I can’t breathe. My head hurts. I’ve got a river of mucus draining down the back of my throat.
My ankle hurts. I fell down the stairs Saturday, while carrying the baby. My super ninja skills, combined with my reflexes of a drunken mongoose, allowed me to not only not drop her, but keep her carrier entirely upright and steady to the point that she never even woke up.
My new carpet in the basement is not so new anymore. Against our hopes and prayers, Max has taken to marking the back corner again. I ripped out the carpet, priming the floor with two coats of an odor barrier, and laid new carpet with a thicker pad. He’s not trying to cover any old traces anymore. I have to accept that he’s just doing it because he’s used to. We decided before putting the new carpet in that he would have to go if he started going down there again. He has, so now he has to. We really don’t want to put him down; but, what other choice do we have? No shelter will take him if we tell them what he does. If we lie, he’ll go to someone else, and who knows what they’ll do to him when he starts going on their stuff? We’ve had him as an exclusively indoor cat since he was a tiny kitten. He’s never had front claws. He’d never survive on his own if we just took him to a field and left him. I can’t give him away to anyone else, with what he does. I just wish there was some other option. But, there’s not. So, today we’re going to take him to the vet and say goodbye.
This may sound over-dramatic to some, but I’ve never lost a pet. I have no idea what to do with myself. This would actually be easier if he was seriously sick or had an accident. You can deal with that. How do you deal with planning an execution for something who’s only guilty of not being capable of knowing better? How do I justify this action to myself? I know it has to be done. I still feel like a monster for doing it.
We still love you.
Don’t hate me.