This piece has been weighing on my heart lately. It was written by an e-quaintence from the old Project 86 message boards, Oni (Graham). The styling is rough and unprofessional. The meter doesnâ€™t fit at times. I think thatâ€™s why I love it. It forgoes pretention for substance. Itâ€™s raw and itâ€™s real. The piece itself is untitled, as far as I know (Iâ€™ve tried to find Graham a couple of times since 2001 when he showed this to me, but to no avail), so the title of this post was instead borrowed from a Living Sacrifice album. I hope they both sue me.
Eyes are as hot as the throat
Screams silence my own self
While tears sizzle and burn the layers away.
How much hate can a body hold for something?
How long until a force of sin pushes too far?
Can the Enemy overdo it?
Has the fallen pushed too hard on me?
It was so warm. I in Him and Him in me.
Nothing could tear Him away.
But what could tear me away?
The flies knew.
A chain of events well planned but poorly masked.
I stood facing the moon bewildered, only then realizing the newfound but familiar sound of shackles.
A woodworker shuffles His feet close behind me.
The knowledge of what was happening pounded at my chest, shattering my heart.
I looked at the Carpenter.
â€œHelp,â€ Then the ground grew large fast.
But He wouldnâ€™t allow me to crumble.
He grabbed me.
Used His hands to hold up a filthy animal.
Used His Light to change a filthy animal.
Used His Love to use the soldier.
I stood up on my new legs.
I had something to do.
I ran into the wilderness screaming.
There was someone who had to die.
I stopped under a hot black sky.
There was no moon.
I started to dig.
I let go.
I landed in the grave face first.
I could hear the soft patter of rain hitting the cracked soil above.
Pat pat became faster.
Pat pat pat became a solid roar.
Water began to fill my grave.
It tasted so good.
I looked into the pool of water waiting for my body to surface.
In the distance lightning lit up the horizon.
The outline of an occupied cross catches my eye.
I didnâ€™t need to go closer.
I knew I hung on that cross.
With a tongue of fire from above, the cross was consumed and everything on it.
No more â€œTake thisâ€ and â€œTake that.â€
This was take it ALL.
I am evil. All of me. Take it all and create a new creature.
Keep that cross. I donâ€™t want it.