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Archive for the ‘Rantings’ Category

Jun

18

This just in…

Posted by: mose

Posted in: Rantings

If you’re an adult male and find yourself ending a phone conversation with “bye bye”, you’re in need of immediate medical assistance. If you notice yourself doing this, proceed directly to your primary care provider and receive an immediate testosterone shot before your transformation into a 13 year old girl is complete.

Other signs of this transmogrification include the use of “cool beans.” Sadly, this is typically symptomatic of terminal womanly transformation. You are likely beyond hope and should begin stocking up blouses and comfortable lady-shoes.

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Apr

08

Random thoughts

Posted by: mose

Posted in: Just for lolz., Life, Rantings

Reason #438,238 to abolish the IRS. Tax season. My life will become infinitely easier April 16th. Well, maybe the 24th. :\

“Rock chalk Jayhawk” is the stupidest chant I’ve heard in my life.

Pepperonis are awesome. Way awesome.

6:00 AM runs are fantastic. They fall second only to 1:30 AM runs. At least that I remember. Haven’t had one of those great nights in 7 years. :\

:\ is the best emoticon ever created, other than Orangeface, #dslr, WP, RIP Logwind, OP, SP

That is all.

Comments (2)


Mar

29

Technology sucks.

Posted by: mose

Posted in: Rantings

Remember the days when things used to work? I do. They were glorious. You’d put a VHS tape in, and it would work. It would play all the way through with no problems. You could turn the television on and flip through the channels, each one appearing in under a second, letting you race through the spectrum to find something decent. Then, we had “upgrades”.

“DVDs are sooo much better.” Why can’t I get through a single movie without the thing freezing up? You could rock one VCR for a decade and run through a VHS a few hundred times before the tape degraded the performance. DVD players seem to start screwing up almost out of the box.

“Digital TV is awesome!” Sure, extra channels and an on screen guide are fantastic additions. However, why in the world does it take three seconds to switch between two channels. If you actually wanted to flip through the expanded basic spectrum, 1-70, it would take you four minutes, practically. Then there’s the blackouts. The other day, Disney Channel just died in the middle of a show. Hasn’t come back since Thursday. I called and had the automated system reset the box, and I lost 3 more channels. Now I have to call and get someone on the phone to try and get this fixed.

What’s the point of technological “advances” if performance doesn’t actually improve?

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Mar

10

Thought for the day.

Posted by: mose

Posted in: Rantings

Instead of the first woman or first black president, how about we get the first honest president?

Vote Ron Paul

Please review this article from the American Free Press

It does an excellent job of explaining many of the pressing issues facing our nation and how the three “front runner” candidates are woefully inadequate in regards to resolving them.

Since Mike Fakeabee dropped out, leaving McCain as the heir-apparent to the nomination, people have been asking me if I’m still supporting Dr. Paul. The answer, is a firm, “Yes.” Unless Dr. Paul specifically requests that his supporters vote for McCain in the general election, my vote still goes towards him as a write-in. Will he win? No, of course not. However, I do not feel I am “throwing my vote away.” I cannot, in good conscience, pledge support for that RINO, McCain. I also refuse to vote for McCain for the sole purpose of voting against Hillorama. Or Obamary. Instead, I choose to vote FOR the candidate who is the true champion of the individual, and of liberty. Let my vote be counted among those that refuse to vote for who the party leadership tells us to vote for.

Make no mistake, Ron Paul is not the Republican nominee because the leaders of the Republican party decided he was not the nominee. This was decided before the first primary or straw poll. Can you blame them? Why would they help elect someone who would clean out their own Tammany Hall, expose their agendas, and fight for the people, instead of lobbyists and special interest groups?

Remember kids, just say, “No!” to RINOs. Instead, say, “Yes!” to liberty.

Mosecrest out.

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Jan

31

Enough with the faux pleasantries.

Posted by: mose

Posted in: Rantings

Welcome to today’s edition of Bash A Region 2008! Today’s region is: Any state touching the Atlantic ocean between Massachusetts and Virginia. Here’s a tip for those of you in this region. “How are you?” and “How are you doing?” are not rhetorical questions. This question should only be asked if you are legitimately curious as to that person’s well-being or lack thereof. Here is an example of proper usage:

Person 1: Hello
Person 2: Hi, how are you? ::PAUSE FOR RESPONSE::
Person 1: I’m good.

YES!

Please note, if your conversations go like this:

Person 1: Hello
You: Hey, how are you, I got this problem I need for you to blah blah blah blah blah

then:

NO!

If you’re going to be nice, be nice. If you’re going to get down to business, just do it. Don’t pretend to be nice. You’re not fooling anyone.

Comments (2)


Jan

28

This is not a good day.

Posted by: mose

Posted in: Life, Rantings, Whining

In fact, it’s a rather bad day. Horrible would probably come close. Why horrible? Oh, let me count the ways.

I have a cold. Colds are horrible. I can’t breathe. My head hurts. I’ve got a river of mucus draining down the back of my throat.

My ankle hurts. I fell down the stairs Saturday, while carrying the baby. My super ninja skills, combined with my reflexes of a drunken mongoose, allowed me to not only not drop her, but keep her carrier entirely upright and steady to the point that she never even woke up.

My new carpet in the basement is not so new anymore. Against our hopes and prayers, Max has taken to marking the back corner again. I ripped out the carpet, priming the floor with two coats of an odor barrier, and laid new carpet with a thicker pad. He’s not trying to cover any old traces anymore. I have to accept that he’s just doing it because he’s used to. We decided before putting the new carpet in that he would have to go if he started going down there again. He has, so now he has to. We really don’t want to put him down; but, what other choice do we have? No shelter will take him if we tell them what he does. If we lie, he’ll go to someone else, and who knows what they’ll do to him when he starts going on their stuff? We’ve had him as an exclusively indoor cat since he was a tiny kitten. He’s never had front claws. He’d never survive on his own if we just took him to a field and left him. I can’t give him away to anyone else, with what he does. I just wish there was some other option. But, there’s not. So, today we’re going to take him to the vet and say goodbye.

This may sound over-dramatic to some, but I’ve never lost a pet. I have no idea what to do with myself. This would actually be easier if he was seriously sick or had an accident. You can deal with that. How do you deal with planning an execution for something who’s only guilty of not being capable of knowing better? How do I justify this action to myself? I know it has to be done. I still feel like a monster for doing it.

Goodbye, Max.

We still love you.

Don’t hate me.

Please.

Comments (2)


That’s right. If you use speaker phone for business, there’s a 99% chance that you’re a tool. The exceptions: group meeting where another party is absent, you know for a fact the other person doesn’t mind (IE you’re talking to another tool who uses speaker phone).

The facts:

In most cases, it’s close to impossible to make out what the other person is saying. Half the time they sound like they’re in a cave or at the bottom of the ocean.

Conversely, ambient noises are amplified and the sound of high heels on the floor 20 feet away will shatter your ear drums.

Conversations between two people are typically meant for two people. The other person probably doesn’t want their voice broadcast all over your office area.

Scientific studies from Lowrey University prove that utilizing speaker phone in a business setting is a clear symptom of Narcisstic Personality Disorder*.

In short, don’t be a tool. Don’t use speaker phone.

That is all.

*Study available upon request

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Dec

07

I’m a mean guy.

Posted by: mose

Posted in: Life, Rantings, Whining

It’s official. When a three year old tells you something, it must be true.

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Nov

08

Dear Ihop management,

Apologize already. Please. Don’t you remember how it used to be, Ihop? The many evenings we spent together with my family. The joy and laughter shared over funny face pancakes and fruity country griddle cakes? It can be that way again! We can end this silly feud and get back to enjoying each other again. I just need you to suck up your pride a little, Ihop. You hired a crappy manager who let that specific store go to pot. It happens. Maybe you d….

Wait.

Could it be?

Maybe you don’t know about our little tiff. Maybe our local Ihop never reported our displeasure to you and you haven’t had a chance to rain fire upon them and bless us with french toast and bacon. Allow me to fill you in.

We’ve gone to that location for four years. It’s close, the food was always good, as was the service. Then, earlier this year, things changed, for the worse. Waits increased, food quality decreased, as did service. Finally, we had an evening there so bad, we vowed never to return. Here is a (somewhat) condensed version. We show up at 6:00PM or so on a Sunday. There were about six customer cars in the parking lot. The Applebees that shares the parking lot was packed. When we pulled up, an SUV parked at Applebees and six people got out and went in. We went into Ihop. After about 3-4 minutes someone came up to the front and brought us to our table. After five minutes or so, they took our order, then promptly disappeared off the face of the Earth. In the next 45 minutes, we only saw him walk by twice. Mind you, there were only six other tables with customers in the entire restaurant. (we counted) Yet, it took 45 minutes for our food to show up. It arrived without so much as a “sorry for the long wait”.

At this time, I was just short of steaming. We had a three year old with us. A hungry three year old. 45 minutes with a hungry three year old in a booth at Ihop is not an experience anyone should have to go through. Not to mention, my daughter is sitting there hungry. When the food did show up, I said to my wife, “These had better be the best pancakes in the history of pancakery.” Alas, they were not. The hash browns were an odd amalgamation of frozen and charred potatoes. It was just sad. After we finished eating, we were primed to get out of there already. We had planned for a 30-40 minute trip, and thought we would be home by 7:00. Now it’s 7:15 and we’re still stuck in the restaurant. We finally get our check, pay, with no tip, and leave.

The next day, my wife called the restaurant to voice our complaint. To quote her, “When I called IHOP, (1503 Cornhusker Road, BELLEVUE, NE 68123-4419) the day manager asked why I didn’t ask for the manager when we were in the restaurant. I told it was because we had already been there with a 3 year old for over an hour and I felt I could address it the next day. She said she would talk to our server (supposedly he was one of the best there) and call me back the next day. Never happened. I even gave her my cell # so I wouldn’t miss the call.” That was two months ago or longer. We have yet to hear from said manager.

We have not been back since. Instead we have resorted to catering other businesses. Luckily, Cracker Barrel obliges my daughter’s request for a whipped cream smiley face on her pancakes.

Still, sometimes I wonder, what it would be like to sit in those blue booths once again.

::sigh::

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Nov

06

Learn English!

Posted by: mose

Posted in: Rantings

This one has been boiling up for a while and must now be unleashed. I’m not talking about immigrants. (That’s a rant for another time). I’m talking about adults who have theoretically graduated from a US high school and, in all likelihood, attended some sort of college. Humor me, if you will, in this series of complaints.

“Do you mind if……”

I understand that answering this question correctly may be difficult for a four year old; however, a 40 year old should be able to navigate this dangerous predicament with relative ease. If I ask, “Do you mind if I get back to you later on this?” and you say “Yeah, sure.”, that means that you do mind and that you do not find this to be an acceptable proposition. It usually goes like this:

Me: “Do you mind if I get back to you later on this?”
Chump: “Yeah, sure.”
Me: “You do?”
Chump: “Huh???”

Sometimes, I’ll mix it up.

Me: “Is it okay if ….”
Chumpcicle: “No, go ahead”
Me: “I hate your face.”

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